There's no place like...well, anywhere but Sallisaw.

Recently I came into a pair of red high heels. I have never owned anything like them: they are magic. I put them on and instantly I felt like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz. I felt confident, sexy, rockstar-like; but most of all I felt like I could click my heels together and instantly be anywhere but here. Here being Sallisaw, OK. I guess Oklahoma is alright if you are Carrie Underwood...or a meth-head, but it's just not for normal people.
As I walked down the 2 mile long main street of this Godforsaken town in my magnificent heels, all I could think about was clicking them together 3 times and wishing to GET OUT OF HERE!
This town reminds me of a King or Koontz novel. You can smell the stench of meth in the air and see the sunken, souless eyes of the users as they run from doctor to doctor begging for painkillers. It's kind of a mix between a B rated horror movie and Deliverance. Take a wrong turn down a country road and your runnin' for your life as a hillbilly peppers your car with a shotgun trying to protect his bathtub lab. It's only fair that he protect his property though, I mean, not only does he cook his meth in there, but his 5 children are going to need a bath for Sunday church (snicker).
No wonder I want so badly to close my eyes and click those beautiful heels..............